Feeling
by IbelieveINmagic26
Summary: A misunderstanding leaves Blaise alone and numb, how does Ginny Weasley fit in?


There was a feeling of fading away which pervaded his senses with every day he lived sense it happened. It wasn't quite an emptiness that invaded him, or even a sorrow. Both of those left a residual feeling, something to stop this numbness.

It wasn't hatred either. Oh, how he wished it were a hatred. How he wished he hated _her_. It was more of a non-feeling, that was confining and plaguing him. The only thing that he hated was the apathy, the numbness that consumed him. The sight of her with him, how she held onto him as a source of comfort. It made him remember things he didn't want to remember. The look on her face when she was lied to by people he thought were his friends. The way she told him, quite calmly, that she never wanted to see him again, and that she never saw it coming. Though he was Slytherin, what could he expect?

_hhhhhhFlashbackppppp_

_"Hello, Weasley." Theordore Nott growled out as Blaise stood around the corner, they didn't know he was here, he had arrived moments after Malfoy, Nott, Crabbe, and Goyle. He had heard them grab her and pull her behind that statue, so that someone walking by wouldn't see them. Once again he lived up to his Slytherin reputation by not saving her so that his friends wouldn't know how serious he was about her._

'Because I'm so proud of being Slytherin'_ Blaise thought to himself, somewhat ashamed._

_"What do you want?" She asked, almost making Blaise laugh. even surrounded she had the famous Weasley temper._

_"To forget about Zabini." Malfoy said, pulling Weasley closer to him. "He wants you to leave him alone."_

_"You know nothing about him." Ginny hissed, pulling against his arms. "He wants _you_ to leave him alone." Nott hauled off and smacked her, the smack making Blaise want to come to her rescue, and he almost did, but not in time to stop the next comment._

_"He is needed by the Dark Lord and no longer wants you." Blaise could hear Ginny stiffen and attempt to pull away, but she remained silent. "You were his play thing, nothing more." He whispred in her ear._

_"He already pledged his allegiance to the Dark Lord, and has plenty of pureblood girls to keep himself occupied. He no longer needs to sully himself by hanging out with you." Nott added in, smirking. Blaise finally mustered the courage to come around the corner to see Ginny standing there, shaking off the arms of her captors._

_"Tell me it's not true, Blaise. Tell me that you aren't committing yourself to that ... that monster?" Her face was restrained and calm, but her eyes said otherwise as the tears welled up and began to fell. He found himself unable to speak, he merely stood there opening and closing his mouth. Her eyes searched his, her calm face beginning to crack. "Blaise?"_

_He once again was unable to respond, but made the decision that had been haunting him ever sense. He walked past the woman he loved and to his housemates. They laughed and clapped him on the back but the only sound that he heard was the sob the Ginny held back as she walked away._

_hphphphphphphphphphphphphp_

What killed him the most was that it wasn't even true.

Ginny didn't know that though. He told her almost everything, but this was different. He told her he didn't know what side he was on. And now she thought she knew. He wanted to tell her so badly, but she wanted nothing to do with him. The last time he tried talking to her was when she told him she never wanted to see him again.

Of all the girls that he had slept with, of all the times his friends had mesed with the girls while he laughed, it would be her that they hurt so deeply. It would be her that got this hurt. Because of him. Because he could'nt stand up for himself, his beliefs, or for the woman he was in love with. He played the coward. He was to scared to do something that would upset the status quo.

and he lost her for it.

She tried so hard to make him come clean, to do the right thing, to go to Dumbledore. He would always respond the same way.

_"I'm not a Gryffindor. The whole self-righteous act is your thing"_

He never told her that he already spoke to Dumbledor. He was already under the protection of the Order. He was already a spy.

It was two weeks later, the night before Graduation, the closing feast. Ginny sat, as she had sense that night, in the arms of Harry Potter. The numbness almost ebbed away as his heart ached at the sight. Deep down he knew that it was a platonic move, but it still hurt. He almost revelled in the feeling that had been so painfully absent in the past days.b

He knew he was staring, but he couldn't help it. His "friends" didn't notice. Nobody noticed. He was invisible, just as he was before. He tried to push up some form of emotion, to drive out the numbness, but he failed, as always.

He was walking back to his room later, wondering if his punishment for pushing away the woman he loved was this eternal numbness. She was the only one who could drive emotion into him, but she was done pushing him. He was walking slowly when suddenly a voice from behind him made him stop.

"How dare you" The voice shouted. He spun and was incredulous to see a furious Ginny Weasley storming towards him. He welcomed the feeling of anxiety in his stomach. It was feeling. Feeling that he missed, and that he could only get from her. She got up to him and stopped.

"How dare I what?" Blaise said, acting cool. Ginny let out a shout of frustration.

"You insufferable prat" She shouted and he noticed that she was starting to tear up through her frustration. "You know _exactly _what I'm talking about. A spy? Are you kidding me?" She growled. He shrugged. There was a tense moment when they looked into each others eyes.

"At the moment it didn't seem like a good idea, and after I decided to not risk you." Blaise said softly, knowing it would frustrate. Not that it was entirely true, but he couldn't explain the way he'd been feeling, and he was concerned for her safety. It was seconds before Ginny lost her famous Weasley temper.

"Who are you to decide that?" She shouted at him, hitting his chest, crying harder. "How dare you presume to know what I want. Do you know how much these past two weeks have hurt me?" Blaise grabbed her arms to stop the assault on his chest, which pulled her against him. She cried softly into his shoulder before looking up into his eyes. "Bastard" she whispered, hurt in her eyes.

The feelings that had come back in fraction came surging into him at the moment he saw the pain in her eyes. Before he could stop himself he pulled her flush against him and pulled her into a mind blowing kiss. She tensed for only a moment beore wripping her arms from his hands and wrapping them around his neck, leaving his arms to go around her waist.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered into her ear. "Forgive me?" She sniffed for a moment before tossing him a smile and kissing him once again.

"Don't ever do that to me again." She said softly, playing with a lock of his hair. Once again another surge of feeling passed through him, one of possesiveness. He pulled her tighter, if that was possible, and smiled at her.

"How did you know?" He asked after another passionate kiss.

"The old bat ratted you out." Ginny said with a smirk, giving him a peck on the cheek. Blaise immediately pulled her in for a full kiss, sighing contentedly.


End file.
